Let’s Celebrate the change as I didn’t see it coming.
As you grow up, the world around you widens up. You experience your old concepts and behavioural patterns going for a toss. This is where you realise the necessity of some serious changes within you.
But along with those changes, comes a confident part of you that wants to embrace and recognise the imperfect you.
The past two birthdays have been about experiencing that shift. There is a newness and freedom that I knew I had within but couldn’t bring into complete expression. So, the 30s are definitely about an empowered self for me (as everyone says).
Taking both together, let me reflect on how far I have come in life. Thanks to some right forces around. Here I go with some of the learnings I have had in the 31 years of my life.
1. Let go of judgements.
I have been highly judgemental of myself and the people around me. I was a person who maintained a distance from most of the people thinking they aren’t doing the right things in their life. People aren’t wrong, wrong is the way we look at them. And judging everyone will make you a loner.
I really admire socially charged people. They are more friendly and less judgmental.
2. No Negative Self Talk.
What you think you become. Also, whatever you repeatedly say to yourself, you manifest it. I have understood lately that I should not criticize myself harshly, no matter how stupid I feel about myself in certain situations. The more I say ‘I am not good enough’, the more I will feed this thought into my consciousness. We need to be our own biggest cheerleaders.
3. Invest in your mental health.
“If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.” Dalai Lama
People who face mental disturbances in their initial part of life understand importance of self care more than anybody else. I have been one of those people. Investing here has enhanced so many of my experiences in life. I have seen people being reluctant to meditate because they have to pay money or have to manage some time from their busy schedule. Spending your time and money on spiritual experiences only bring you the highest returns.
4. Having friends/relationships is important.
I never thought I was one of those who enjoyed seeing people and spending time with them. My spiritual practices have opened me to an extent that I feel more connected with everyone around me. I am not completely at it but it’s definitely work in progress. After experiencing both awkwardness and easiness in a group of people, I would say, having good friends and relationships is much better than being isolated. It adds to your well-being.
5. It’s okay to ask for help.
I have always liked doing things on my own as I believed I was enough. Yes, we are sufficient, but we are also interdependent, and it is not a sign of weakness to ask for favours or help. This is how we function. Attaching your ego to it can be harmful to your own self-esteem.
6. Be happy for others.
This has been one of the important life lessons. I am glad that it came soon enough. We must contemplate whether we feel insecure about seeing other people succeed or genuinely feel happy for them. Whatever vibes we pour out into the universe, they come back to us many times over.
7. Arguing/proving your point is a waste of time.
It ruins your energy. To avoid the trap, move away.
8. Social Media breathers help in maintaining sanity.
To stay updated, it becomes important that we have a presence online. But getting too absorbed in it can be damaging to our minds and our productivity. Also, being an oversensitive person, so many times it gets too overwhelming for me to see so much happening out there. For this very reason, I try to take frequent breaks from all my social media accounts.
9. Don’t be straightforward.
Often, in the name of straightforwardness, we become harsh and rude. And to make ourselves look highly opinionated, we let our judgements flow through people. I have seen this to be damaging and hurtful. I guess wherever there is a possibility, one has to learn to ignore or be smart enough to put things out. I am still learning that art.
10. Take the middle path.
I struggle with extremes. Either I will be completely in bed or I will be working for the whole day. Either I’ll be overly friendly or a complete introvert. This goes with the other aspects of my life too. I have experienced extremes that are too painful at times. It’s a good thing to be in the middle, maintaining a balance.
11. Multitasking isn’t great skill.
You will see multi-tasking being glorified at many places, but it is not the right thing to do. It tends to make our brain function slow and increases the chances of mistakes by interrupting the flow that is needed to accomplish any work. Just being focused on one task at a time is more satisfactory and result oriented.
12. Routine is essential to growth.
My complex emotions and desire to rise above them drove me to strive for personal growth since very early in life. The journey has taught me that freedom in mind and actions can be achieved through a disciplined routine. It is very important to eat, sleep and wake up on time. The messier the routine, the messier your day, body and mind will be.
13. Be friends with uplifted people.
Either be friends with individuals who uplift your spirits or be alone. No point in spending your time with the wrong people. I would rather indulge myself in any constructive activity. Be friendly with everyone, but choose wisely who you want to spend your time with.
14. Outgrowing friends is normal, no matter how deep the friendship was.
In the 20s, we think our friendships are forever. But things change with time. As you move on with your professional life, you lose touch with old friends. Feeling disappointed serves no purpose as most of the time it happens for the best. Move ahead and look forward to making new friends.
15. Not all glitters are gold.
There were days when I used to get lured by attractive things without thinking through their real value. I am more aware and conscious now.
16. People’s opinion is not your reality.
People see one part of you and if they find it wrong, they will criticise you, in most cases. I had low self-esteem issues because I judged myself too harshly based on how others perceived and treated me. We can’t control how other people think and function and but we can definitely control how we respond to them. To move ahead and see yourself growing one has to stop measuring himself by the opinions of others.
17. Financial Knowledge is underrated.
Everyone works hard enough to earn, and, for this reason, that money deserves to go out in a planned manner. I have been a casual spender in the past, which is something I intend to change now. Financial planning is essential to take care of our present and future needs, whereas focussing only on our present wants can prove to be an immensely restricted approach.
18. Be Grateful.
Your life is someone else’s dream. So, be thankful for every moment that passes by. Crib less and be more content with your life. The habit of counting little things that make life easy can bring a positive shift in you. I feel this is one of the best practices to feel elevated.
19. Vibes are more powerful than verbal communication.
I have experienced this a zillion times now. People who were critical and bitter became pleasant at the moment when my energies were uplifted. Your vibration speaks louder than your outer appearance. It is capable of bringing more changes around you in comparison to words uttered by you. That’s why they say, Vibrate High!
20. Relationships work with love and not by nitpicking.
Accusing people of mistakes or lack regularly can be harmful to the person and, more importantly, the relationship. One should learn to love their people as they are and not correct them every time. I have done that a lot and when it happened to me for a constant period of time that’s when it hit me hard.
21. Parents’ advice should be listened to.
Manier times I have only listened to my heart without feeling apologetic later, but there have been times where I have regretted not listening to my parents’ advice. Their way of doing certain things has been my saviour and a lot many times I have felt that I should listen to them more often. When it comes to worldly matters, dealing with people, life; they have so much to offer, only if we have the patience to listen. Their wider range of experiences is something that adds wisdom to their age.
Also, Parent’s gut for their children is right most of the time. (This has been one of the biggest learnings).
22. Don’t take anything too seriously.
Life is one rare opportunity that happened to all of us. I want to live more and more every day and worry less. Things should not be taken seriously to an extent that they rob us of our mental peace. Acceptance and move on.
23. Things I didn’t know about Cooking.
a) I actually enjoy it.
b) It’s a basic skill that everyone should know.
24. My silence is my superpower.
No Explanations Here.
25. Quitting 9–5 Job is overhyped.
Social media influencers will shout at the top of their voices about why these 9–5 jobs suck but with my own experiences, I can give you better reasons why they are very relevant.
It sorts you out in more ways than one. It does a good job from taking care of your routine to your financial aspects. Everyone tells you to follow your passion but hardly anyone will tell you to learn to earn a living for yourself, learn the right professional skills and gradually make a shift if you wish to. Alternatively, one should have reached a level of maturity in which he is well aware of the choices he is making. There is so much that goes into the process.
26. Life is more than our likes and dislikes.
We tend to become limited as we base our lives on our feelings. Overly emotional beings (like me) must have experienced that often. I have learnt to let go of likes and dislikes in certain situations. There are things that we just have to go through. Not only it brings emotional maturity but also opens up as humans. It makes us more accommodating and tolerant.
27. Life is too short to be lazy or fearful.
There is nothing more regretful than looking at the gone-by years and realising how much time you have wasted just because you were casual, comfortable and somewhat lazy or fearful. Fear and lack of direction made me doubt my capabilities, made me a less action-oriented person. I hope to move forward in life, breaking free from these limitations now.
28. Striving for perfection can be frustrating.
I have stopped feeling pride in calling myself a person who likes perfectionism. Because the desire to gain it in every experience and act makes you critical, finicky, anxious, and unhappy. Soon, these traits start showing up as habits. I came out feeling a lot better about being okay with imperfections as no matter how hard you try it’s impossible to achieve perfection. Making our lives or someone else’s lives difficult is going to go nowhere in the end.
29. Dancing and singing should be continued all life.
I love doing both and highly recommend everyone to adopt them in daily life as essential activities. Not because I like them, but because they have the ability to heal anything.
30. You will be fine. Time changes.
We get so engrossed in our current situation that it appears to be our permanent reality. Life is a mix of everything. If you are not happy today, surely good times will show up. Neither we experience the same range of emotions throughout the year nor throughout life. As time is constantly changing, there is nothing like; always happy or always sad.
31. A clean lifestyle can solve most of the problems.
That’s one secret to being happy and sorted. If I have to give credit to anything for my better energy levels, it would be this factor. Eat clean, meditate twice a day( so that you can think clean), exercise or run and adopt other healthy lifestyle habits to maintain a healthy being.